What Does “Belonging” Look Like in Leadership?

Photo by KOBU Agency on Unsplash

When we talk about organizational transformation, we usually focus on the visible aspects – new processes, different ways of working, updated systems and structures.

But there's a deeper human need that often goes unexplored: belonging.

I've been thinking about this recently, noticing how change initiatives can create a sense of displacement and unease in the very people they’re meant to engage with.

When we say "here's the new direction" or "this is how we'll work differently now," we're not just asking people to learn new skills or think differently. We're potentially challenging their entire sense self, and what it means to belong.

The Three Layers of Belonging

Through my work with organizations navigating change in my own life, I've noticed that belonging operates on three interconnected levels:

1. Belonging in a PlaceThis is about feeling at home in the environment we’re in (a neighborhood, a country, an organization, etc), both culturally, physically and psychologically. Key questions we ask here are: Do people feel safe enough to speak their minds? Can they move and express themselves freely? Does the energy flow, do people get energized by the place and give back to it in return? In order to instill an experience of belonging, a place needs to feel welcoming and secure enough for honest expression and simply being.
   

2. Belonging with Others -- In his book Community, Peter Block points out that transformation happens in small groups. In my experience, this is absolutely true. In a core group (our family, a book club, a class, an affinity group) we are witnessed in a way that can mirror and develop our identity, and we develop vital connections that support our growth and goals. I like to think of organizations as concentric circles – starting with your immediate team, your department, your company or industry, and so on. That first circle, the small group, is the powerful center where values, beliefs, or concepts that might otherwise stay too ambiguous or foreign become tangible and embodied. Key questions we ask here are: Do I have enough support? Do others miss me when I’m gone?
   

3. Belonging within Myself -- This is perhaps the most overlooked aspect of organizational change, and of belonging in general. It’s natural to look outside and ask ourselves “what are the conditions we need to relax, to take part, and be included?”. But the thing is- and I speak from experience here- if we do not feel comfortable in our own skin, it is difficult to feel like we belong anywhere. And in times of change, when everything around us is shifting, this is accentuated, because change challenges our sense of self. So we need a solid foundation within, that goes beyond what others think of us, or the long list of things we need to be “just right” in order to be happy. This could mean being clear about what matters most to us, understanding our limits and boundaries, or feeling a connection to a greater life force, not just our fear.

One reason belonging is tricky in many workplaces is that people's identities are so intertwined with work. I felt this for weeks when I was waiting to get a new job during a corporate restructuring. When conversations with colleagues invariably veered into “what are you working on right now?”, it was interesting to see their reactions when I replied ”nothing”. Most conversations would die right there. There just wasn’t much else to talk about apart from work. At first, these awkward conversations would make me uncomfortable and sad, and I would feel inferior or out of place. But over time, I relaxed. I became much less concerned about what other people thought of me. Without a job, all I had left to show people was… me. I became more curious about them, and in having real connection. After this experience, it’s been easier to stay rooted in myself whenever work is not going well or I’m in between jobs or clients. I also don’t get as flattered if lots of people want to talk to me, because I can see that more often than not, it’s my job and not “me” that they want to access. People who retire and all of a sudden stop getting emails or phone calls know this quite well.

When we drive organizational change without addressing belonging, we risk sending an unintended message: "Everything you've been doing so far, which we’ve rewarded you for, is now irrelevant now. And so are you. "

If we’re not careful to distinguish the work from the humans, we can trigger an internal conflict by implicitly asking people to reject who they are. And the more we pressure them to adopt the change, the more “resistance” or “change fatigue” we’ll get.

Unless we do things differently.

How to Create Space for Belonging

Belonging isn't just a "nice to have," it's fundamental to successful transformation.

So, how do we address this as leaders?

Here are some approaches I've found helpful:

The Power of Hosts – Just like at a networking event or dinner party, having someone to welcome and introduce people can transform the experience. Who can play this hosting role in your change initiative? Who can bring warmth, joy and an inviting energy while championing people's existing strengths and contributions? I’ve seen the same content be delivered in dramatically different ways, with completely opposite effects on people’s desire to adopt the change. One of the biggest mistakes I see leaders of transformation make is focusing too much on the content of the change (what we’re changing, why, how it works) and too little on the energy they bring to the change. Many are too serious, too intellectual, too calm and collected. Success in change is as much what you do, as it is how you do it. I believe that there is a dangerous scarcity of joy in organizational transformations today.

Small Group Connections – Rather than focusing solely on communicating change broadly or launching it simultaneously in large-scale rollouts, create opportunities for problem solving, connection, and sense-making in small groups. These become anchors of belonging during transformation. When the entire company (the Place) is restructuring and reorganizing, we need to overindex on the other two levers of Others and Myself. Relationships, not reporting lines. And this needs to go beyond online meetings. We are losing the limbic resonance and interpersonal synchrony by doing our work primarily through screens. After the pandemic, the exception now is getting together in person. I’ve seen this not only slow down progress and decrease team creativity, but also increase conflict because we can’t have the types of conversations and interactions that human beings have evolved to have over millennia.

Individual Transformation – I can usually tell if an organizational transformation is the real deal if the people leading it are personally transformed, too. Our personal and professional lives are interconnected. When we are called at work to be radically more accountable, then that leaks into our lives at home. Our conversations with our spouse are different, the way we prioritize our lives changes. We are impressed by the change, as when we press a coin into a piece of soft clay.

Highly developed organizations recognize this, and they support people’s inner journey while the outer change is unfolding. They help people maintain a strong sense of self, while also encouraging them to explore what other parts of themselves are there and were never stimulated. For example, by:

• Acknowledging the grief if / when colleagues leave the company

• Creating space for people to process changes freely with each other, with no repercussions

• Providing support for individual growth, evolution, and adaptation

• Honoring and leveraging the gifts of past contributions while inviting new possibilities for using those now and in the future

So, what comes next?

As you lead change in your organization, consider:

• How are you addressing all three dimensions of belonging?

• Who can serve as "hosts" to welcome people and spread joy?

• How are you supporting people's individual journeys through change?

• What small groups can provide anchors of belonging during transformation?

Transformation isn't just focused on the future or where we're going – it's also about helping people feel they belong both in the journey and the destination.

How do you create belonging during change in your organization? What approaches have you found most effective?

Watch how an artistic mindset can make you a more successful business leader. Change requires action, but first and foremost, change requires a changemaker. That's you.

And inside you is a change artist waiting to be liberated.

If you’re ready to inspire authentic change in your organization, let’s talk.